The Department of Carrots and Sticks Mission Statement – Liberty through Behavior Modification

The phrase “carrots and sticks” appears in political discussion so often, the first results on Google for “carrots and sticks” are about politics and not about animal husbandry. The Beast of Burden is officially human.

Example: President Obama speaking about dealing with Iran

“If we show ourselves willing to talk and to offer carrots and sticks in order to deal with these pressing problems — and if Iran then rejects any overtures of that sort — it puts us in a stronger position to mobilize the international community to ratchet up pressure on Iran.”

A good way NOT to make progress with Iranians is by analogizing them to donkeys and the USA as their master.

This phrase is dehumanizing , in that carrots and sticks are used on beasts of burden by their masters. It is one of the few honest appraisals you’ll hear a politician utter on how they view the world. From their perspective, you and I and other nations are the dumb animals to be steered in the direction of their desires.

You don’t use carrots and sticks on someone you consider to be your equal. You wouldn’t threaten a neighbor with a club or bribe them with money to resolve a dispute. When you consider someone your equal, you let them decide how to act for themselves without coercion.

You don’t use carrots and sticks on your friends. If you were to say to a friend, “Come over to my home for a superbowl party; there’ll be lots of snacks for you if you come–and if you don’t show up, I’ll flatten your tires,” they won’t be your friend long.

You wouldn’t say to your spouse, “If you’ll lose some weight I’ll help clean up around the house, and if you don’t, I’ll have sex with someone else,” unless the goal was to divorce so you could have sex with someone else.

Politicians are loaded with these carrots and sticks; they’ve got them for health care, cap and trade, banks, buying cars, and the economy in general. Politicians see so much more work to be done, and have an arsenal of creative ideas to corral the masses. That’s what politicians do; they pat themselves on the back for thinking up new forms of behavior modification.

Why is it acceptable to use laws to modify other peoples’ behavior? We wouldn’t treat people we know and care about with a carrot and stick approach, so why is it considered acceptable to treat strangers this way?

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Preschool Politics

This Build-A-Scare video might be just a tad bit overboard. Visions of sugar-plums soon to be replaced with “Christmas canceled because Global Warming will be melting the North Pole in two days.” Global warming debate aside–telling kids that Santa’s workshop will be gone in two days is not cool.

They say children are the first victims in any war. As technology has advanced, children are the first victims in the propaganda wars also. The video below is another example of using children to promote propaganda.

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Zombies Angry About Being Drawn into Global Warming Debate

I’ve received many complaints from zombies that they do not wish to be compared to mindless humans. The comparisons are most prevalent in the global warming debate. Statements such as “skeptics are brainwashed mindless zombies” or “AGW believers are alarmist’s cult of zombies” are fueling zombie resentment towards humans.

As one zombie put it – “We have no brains to wash! We are zombies; we don’t know how to organize. Where do humans get off calling us a cult?! The only thing zombies are alarmed about is a brain shortage.”

I asked a zombie for his take on the global warming debate and was surprised by the candid answers.

When asked about graphs showing a rapid increase in global temperatures the zombie had some passionate and unexpected responses.

“Hockey stick bad, hockey stick hurt, hockey stick should be baaaaaaaaanned.”

I then showed graphs showing no change or temperature drops.

“Looks like broken glass. Urgh. Hurts to look; take away.”

Graphs indicating climate change supporting man made climate change or graphs disputing climate change were met with similar pained expressions.

“Make it stop, all look the same. No more graphs, you sadist. I’m just a zombie. How the Hell should I know if the planet is warming?”

I was still curious to find out the zombie perspective on the global warming debate, so I pushed the zombie for more information by threatening to bring the graphs back out if he didn’t answer.

The consensus among humans is that climate change is real and man-made. Is there a consensus among zombies?

“Zombies like humans to argue about climate change because it makes their brains tender. Zombies don’t spend time deciding if something is popular or not, because zombies have never been popular.”

The zombie was very optimistic about climate change based upon the possible scenarios.

If climate change real and man-made

Human leaders develop plan to change human behavior.

Human leaders all agree on same plan. (Zombie chuckles)

All Humans follow the plan. (Zombie laughs up a lung)

Zombies rule!

If climate change real and some man-made

Humans argue and argue about what to do.

Climate warms, more humans die, zombies rule!

If climate change real and not man-made

Most humans not thinking about this. Some humans talk about it; zombies plan to eat their brains.

Zombies rule!

Climate change unknown

If all humans die…zombies die.

“Humans worry more about possibility than probability. There is a possibility life on earth could be destroyed by global warning while the probability over time that life on earth will be wiped out by an asteroid is near 100%.

“Humans could learn from zombie behavior. Once humans discover we have taken over an area, they band together and attack the local zombie hangout. They always forget the natural behavior of zombies is to wander; they forget to look in the cellars and abandoned factories which inevitably leads to a sequel.”

I began to feel a bit sorry after inflicting pain upon the zombie and decided to stop displaying the graphs. There is a strong consensus on the dangers of listening to mindless zombies, so I decided it was time to end the zombie’s pain and cut off his head with a chainsaw.

Stupid mindless zombie won’t get my brain!

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DN! Indian Environmentalist Sunita Narain on U.S. Climate Policy

Climate change debate aside, I have to question if the plan for how to fix global warming is realistic.

World leaders develop plan to change human behavior to use less fossil fuels. (Good luck with that “modifying human behavior” thing.)

World leaders all agree on same plan. (Chuckle…they are doing well when they agree to meet at the same place and time.)

All or most humans follow the plan. (Like that other time the planet followed the same plan?)

So what’s plan B?

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