Zombies Fed up with Discrimination

The latest round of race relations being discussed in the news has created a flurry of emails from zombies reminding me of how poorly they are treated in society. Zombies face an abundance of ignorance, intolerance, and hate on a daily basis. This is a summary of the most common racial intolerance zombies face.

Zombies are upset about the insensitive comments made towards how they stink, talk funny, are stupid, and are slow.

Zombies are tired of hearing , “All you zombies talk funny; it’s brains, not ‘braaaaaaaaaaains.’ Get a job, deadbeat zombie. Go back to Hell, where you came from. Kill a zombie for your mommie.” Humans can’t seem to say zombie without saying “stupid zombie.”

Backhanded compliments from humans:  “You have nice skin, for a zombie. You are smart, for a braindead zombie. At least you aren’t French.”

There are no laws to protect zombies from discrimination. Zombies are barred from voting, jobs, homes, marrying, education, and police protection. Zombies are only protected while in a grave, and even there they have to defend themselves from necrophiliacs.

There is no double standard in the news where Zombies are concerned because there is only one standard. There aren’t any networks or news shows with a zombie bias. News programs don’t have hours of debate when a human makes a racially charged anti-zombie comment. No one has ever been asked to resign because of an off-color remark about zombies.

Hollywood clearly has an anti-zombie bias. Other undead creatures like ghosts and spirits are treated as heroes. How many love scenes have you seen between a zombie and a human? There are zero romances with zombies, but Vampires get laid all the time.

Zombies are racially profiled without fail. Humans don’t stop and ask themselves before chopping one  in half, “Maybe this one isn’t a bad zombie?” If a human dare speak out in defense of zombies, they are quickly labeled a zombie-lover.

Just because they are Life-force challenged is no reason for the unequal treatment zombies receive in society.

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What is Boko Haram?


Obaid Karki is one of those people that gets labeled as a kook or mindless zombie by others. Obaid can be difficult to follow as he tends to jump from subject to subject without much transition. I find the views of a self described Outcast, Underdog, Diogenesist, Libertarian, Kabbalist, Spinoziste, Pantheon, Hexalingual, Automath somewhat alien, but an alien view is why I take the effort to listen.

The gem from this video is the the Delta/Northwest Airlines Christmas Day terrorist Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab may not be a member of Al Qaeda but instead a member of Boko Haram. I have no way of confirming Obaid’s claim that the terrorist is a member of Boko Haram is true. It seems very plausible Boko Haram is behind this attack because this homegrown Nigerian militant Islamist group finds western education and science evil and Umar Farouk Abdul Mutalla grew up in Nigeria.

Having never heard of Boko Haram before, I think Obaid has a point about media tagging Al Qaeda to the story. Al Qaeda to me means “those evil guys that hate us and want to kill us” and Al Qaeda is more likely to grab my attention and scare me.

Its important to know which group is behind terrorist attacks and why they are attacking. I can see this latest terrorist attack being used as an excuse to increase US military presence in other parts of the world instead of addressing the real masterminds. Edit – Senator Lieberman calls for ‘preemptive’ attack on Yemen

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I am Real and You are Not

When politicians and pundits use phrases like “real Americans,” “real voters,”  “real people,” “everyone agrees,”  or “vast majority,”  there are two underlying arguments – if you share the same values you are real, and if you don’t share those values or don’t agree, you are not real.

On the flip side of there are these words – “manufactured, sheeple, robot, and zombie.” All these words are implying the people in question are not real or have no brains.

I’m setting aside the name calling for now and just focusing on the nullification of others.

This nullification works equally well for both the left and right. Example – At the tea party protests the phrase “real Americans” was used by the protesters, implying there were real and unreal Americans. People that disagreed with the protesters views were the unreal ones. When the tea parties were mentioned by politicians and pundits the tea party protesters were referred to as Astroturf.”  Astroturf implies that the tea party protesters were fake or unreal.

This pattern of nullification repeats with every contentious issue.

Side 1 – If you don’t agree with us you aren’t real. “Real American”

Side 2 – How dare you say we aren’t real, when clearly you aren’t real? “Astroturf”

Side 1 – Side 2 has the audacity to say side 1 isn’t real.  “That is un-American”

The ball bounces back to Side 2 and back and forth until everyone has been nullified.

Nullification allows the luxury of not bringing up or discussing opposing views. How could you have a serious discussion about something that doesn’t exist? Why waste time thinking about the unreal? People don’t have serious debates about the Easter bunny, so why should we bother to think about the opposing unreal views?

So I’ll go between the horns and agree with both sides; I am real and you are not.

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Zombies Angry About Being Drawn into Global Warming Debate

I’ve received many complaints from zombies that they do not wish to be compared to mindless humans. The comparisons are most prevalent in the global warming debate. Statements such as “skeptics are brainwashed mindless zombies” or “AGW believers are alarmist’s cult of zombies” are fueling zombie resentment towards humans.

As one zombie put it – “We have no brains to wash! We are zombies; we don’t know how to organize. Where do humans get off calling us a cult?! The only thing zombies are alarmed about is a brain shortage.”

I asked a zombie for his take on the global warming debate and was surprised by the candid answers.

When asked about graphs showing a rapid increase in global temperatures the zombie had some passionate and unexpected responses.

“Hockey stick bad, hockey stick hurt, hockey stick should be baaaaaaaaanned.”

I then showed graphs showing no change or temperature drops.

“Looks like broken glass. Urgh. Hurts to look; take away.”

Graphs indicating climate change supporting man made climate change or graphs disputing climate change were met with similar pained expressions.

“Make it stop, all look the same. No more graphs, you sadist. I’m just a zombie. How the Hell should I know if the planet is warming?”

I was still curious to find out the zombie perspective on the global warming debate, so I pushed the zombie for more information by threatening to bring the graphs back out if he didn’t answer.

The consensus among humans is that climate change is real and man-made. Is there a consensus among zombies?

“Zombies like humans to argue about climate change because it makes their brains tender. Zombies don’t spend time deciding if something is popular or not, because zombies have never been popular.”

The zombie was very optimistic about climate change based upon the possible scenarios.

If climate change real and man-made

Human leaders develop plan to change human behavior.

Human leaders all agree on same plan. (Zombie chuckles)

All Humans follow the plan. (Zombie laughs up a lung)

Zombies rule!

If climate change real and some man-made

Humans argue and argue about what to do.

Climate warms, more humans die, zombies rule!

If climate change real and not man-made

Most humans not thinking about this. Some humans talk about it; zombies plan to eat their brains.

Zombies rule!

Climate change unknown

If all humans die…zombies die.

“Humans worry more about possibility than probability. There is a possibility life on earth could be destroyed by global warning while the probability over time that life on earth will be wiped out by an asteroid is near 100%.

“Humans could learn from zombie behavior. Once humans discover we have taken over an area, they band together and attack the local zombie hangout. They always forget the natural behavior of zombies is to wander; they forget to look in the cellars and abandoned factories which inevitably leads to a sequel.”

I began to feel a bit sorry after inflicting pain upon the zombie and decided to stop displaying the graphs. There is a strong consensus on the dangers of listening to mindless zombies, so I decided it was time to end the zombie’s pain and cut off his head with a chainsaw.

Stupid mindless zombie won’t get my brain!

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If you don’t agree with me, you are a moron.

Calling other people morons to dehumanize and nullify differing views and beliefs is the reason this site was started.

This video is a very good example of “If you don’t agree with me you are clearly a “moron – mindless zombie – zombiecrat – zombiecon – troll –  idiot.”

Everyone is their neighbors mindless zombie.

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