If Celebrities Became Presidents

A common tactic in politics is to take some views and expand them to an extreme to make others afraid of them.

One of the most common ones is President Obama will reshape the country into a communist country like Soviet Russia. Even if the President were a devout communist, the slippery slope in American politics isn’t very slippery. The last year has shown even the most powerful person on Earth isn’t powerful enough to reshape America.

This isn’t just a left or right tactic. When Mike Huckabee was running for President, the attacker said the country would become a theocracy like Iran. For Ron Paul, the attack was the country would turn into anarchy like Somalia.

Just because one person isn’t powerful enough to reshape the country doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with the idea. Here are some new forms of government if celebrities were to become President.

  • Abe Vigoda: Immortal-ocracy
  • Barbara Walters: Bahwah-ahquacy
  • Carrot Top: Ginger-ocracy
  • Charlie Sheen: Rehab-ocracy
  • Chris Hansen: Itsatrap-ocracy
  • Joel McHale: Snark-ocracy
  • Kelly Osbourne: Ozzy-ocracy
  • Kevin Smith: Twoseat-ocracy
  • Kim Kardashian: Booty-ocracy
  • Moot: Anon-ocracy
  • Nadya Suleman : Octo-ocracy
  • Snooki: Friggin’ocracy
  • Snoop Dogg: Hip-ocracy
  • Tiger Woods: Player-ocracy
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Would a Politician Mind Being Slimed?


On You Can’t do That on Television, slime was poured whenever someone said, “I don’t know.”

Politicians have no qualms about modifying citizens’ behavior, so it would only be fair to treat them likewise. There should be a political talk show along these same lines as YCDTOTV, but with these rules for when the slime flows:

  • Accuse opponents of being hypocrites.
  • Ignores questions to repeat the same talking points they’ve already spouted.
  • Make appeals to popularity.
  • Villainize those with differing opinions.
  • Preach about being a better parent, citizen, student, or spouse.

Saying, “I don’t know” would be perfectly safe on the show, because it’s refreshing when politicians admit they don’t have an answer for everything.

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Shaping the Next Generation

Overweight children is only one area where American parents are failing their children. With parents doing such a poor job of raising children, I think it’s time for others to follow Washington D.C.’s example and step up to the plate to help. Bastions of self control and discipline–like Washington D.C.–can’t shape the next generation alone.

Here are some suggestions where others can follow DC’s example and pitch in to help parents raise their children.

  • John Edwards, Tiger Woods and Mark Sanford could tour schools together and explain the importance of fidelity.
  • Bernie Madoff could teach the importance of sharing.
  • John Stewart and Stephen Colbert could explain the harm caused by teasing.
  • Mary Kay Letourneau and Debra Lafave could warn children about sexual abuse.
  • Lindsay Lohan should scold children about underage drinking.
  • John Mayer and Mel Gibson could teach racial sensitivity.
  • Bristol Palin and Jamie Lynn Spears could explain the dangers of underage sex.
  • Ben Bernanke and Timothy Geithner can teach the importance of savings accounts.
  • A bipartisan group of Democrats and Republicans could let children know the damage done by name calling.
  • Andy Dick could explain good touch/bad touch.
  • President Obama could speak about the importance of keeping promises.
  • Keith Olbermann and Sean Hannity could explain logical fallacies, such as the Straw Man and Appeal to Popularity.
  • Kanye West could talk about the importance of waiting your turn to speak.
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Name-calling is Fun and Entertaining – and Drowning Debate: The Jon Stewart / Keith Olbermann Saga

Here is Keith Olbermann’s response to Jon Stewart over Olbermann’s namecalling towards Scott Brown. At the end, Keith Olbermann says “You’re right. I have been a little over the top lately. Point taken. Sorry.”


The ad hominem spam in political discussion is so abundant it’s become an issue unto itself. Unemployment and a shrinking economy have to take a backseat to political pundits personal views of others. To quote Stewart on this subject, “Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.” (Jon Stewart on CNN’s Crossfire)

The irony is that at the end of the Crossfire video, Jon Stewart gets sucked into the namecalling by calling Tucker Carlson a “dick.” I’m not defending Olbermann; calling someone a “dick” is a far cry from calling someone “an irresponsible, homophobic, racist, reactionary, ex-nude model, tea-bagging supporter of violence against women and against politicians with whom he disagrees.”

The namecalling is so loud now its drowning out debate about the issues. Most political talk these days is focused on getting the best dig in and not the best point across. The king of the hill battle to arouse prejudices needs to die down. It would be an improvement for Olbermann to refer to Scott Brown as a “dick” next time.

Even when you are well aware of the damage caused by personal attacks, it’s easy to get drawn into the battle. It takes a great deal of self-discipline not to reach for the flamethrower when attacked or when there is a strong disagreement on an issue.

To teach themselves some self-discipline and so someone can benefit, the pundits should put up their own swear jar. Each time they drift away from the issue at hand and go with the personal attacks, they have to throw some money in the jar to be donated to charity.

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Poll – Which Science Fiction Evil Computer Best Represents Washington DC?

What would things be like if congress were replaced with liberty-minded people? Would it do any good? It seems the bureaucracy has achieved a consciousness of its own, like a computer run amok in a Science Fiction story. Is anyone in Washington still in control? Can anyone pull the plug?

[poll id=”2″]

The list isn’t complete because computers controlling humanity is a common theme in Science Fiction. Please add any evil computers or thoughts on which computer best represents Washington DC in the comments section below.

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The Future of Civil Disobedience in America – I WANT YOU Ziggy Stardust

4chan users were upset with YouTube for deleting the account of Lukeywes1234. 4chan let YouTube know just how upset they were by launching a porn bomb protest at YouTube on January 6th, 2010. YouTube will be busy for days cleaning out all the hidden porn from the 4chan group.

What would happen if 4chan were angry with Washington D.C.?

The tried and true ways of protesting through signs, emails, calling and faxing don’t seem to be very effective. In the future, I hope people will start launching protests similar to the 4chan model.

A selective service protest could be launched by walking into the post office and getting a few cards to fill out with bogus information. If there were millions of fake registrations, the system would be useless.

Around 100 million tax returns are filled every year with the IRS.  How well would the IRS function if another 100 million returns were fake?

The 2010 census forms will be out soon–with enough effort, Alaska could become the most populous state.

Each government agency or program has a plethora of forms that can be filled out for free. All these agencies are susceptible to a denial of service attacks through an abundance of requests for service.

How about a cell phone app to alert others when your civil rights are being violated? A GPS-equipped phone with this app would quickly alert every liberty-minded person in the area to rush to the scene. Your civil rights will be better protected when several people are live streaming video of encounters with the police.

If you’d prefer your email not be read by the NSA, then spamming the world with emails incorporating terms the NSA screens for is an option. “Ziggy has the bomb in his underpants”

Start an internet rumor similar to the one that caused chaos when utility payment assistance was offered by the city of Detroit. “The President will be giving away federally owned homes to people at his next speech. Under each seat will be a certificate for one foreclosed home.”

These are just a few ideas for the future of civil disobedience; with the right amount of anger and creativity, it will be possible to catch the conscience of the king.

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The Plan is Here and it’s Called Freedom-Care

With skyrocketing costs caused by dollar devaluation, income taxes, and healthcare reform, these questions are on many Americans minds: “How much longer can I afford to live in a free country? Isn’t it time for a plan that makes freedom affordable to all?”

First off, Freedom-care won’t be mandatory; you’ll be able to opt in or out at your own choosing. Most of all, it prevents the federal government from denying your freedom when you need it the most.


Under the Freedom-care plan, each person will be able to choose the plan that suits their personal needs best. You won’t be forced to choose from a list of bureaucratically-approved activities. You can spend your freedom however you like! Finally, a real choice for your life is in your hands.

No one can be denied Freedom-care based upon preexisting conditions such as political affiliation, religion, lack of religion, race, gender, age or violating victimless crime laws. Basically the only way you can be turned down for Freedom-care is if you steal or harm another Freedom-care participant.

Provides stable and maintainable freedom insurance by providing for a well-armed defense. Members are allowed to participate in supplementary freedom insurance programs if they so desire.

Eliminates government preventative care – Under freedom care, the government can no longer tax you for bad behavior. You’ll be free to tan, smoke, drink alcohol, or have all the sugar you can afford because you are fully protected from government interference.

Caps out-of-pocket taxes so you won’t go broke while enjoying your freedom.

Creates an independent commission called “voters” to monitor the program and identify waste, abuse and fraud.


Wide and ever-growing religious freedom – If you like your current religion you can keep it! You can’t be forced to choose from a preferred religion list.

Quality and affordable choices – Freedom-care participants can use their wealth in a manner of their own choosing. Freedom-care has the world’s largest list of products from around the world which members can choose to buy, and the list is still growing! You’ll get to decide what you can afford all by yourself.

Words – Freedom-care users have free access to use any word available–even words from other languages. Use the words however you like and feel free to share them with others at no charge.

Ideas – The idea bank is so large, quite frankly I’m not sure what’s all in there; but they tell me the bank holds an infinite amount of ideas. Just as with words you can share these ideas as often as you’d like.

Tell Congress the time is now for Freedom-Care…

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Its time to drop the H-bomb on Terrorists: Hasselhoff-Bomb

There has been lots of debate the last few days about what motivates a person to become a terrorist. There are two camps on what causes terrorism: the “its all ideology” camp and the “it’s all unintended consequences” camp. Both groups are correct, because either can generate terrorists; I see unintended consequences as the symptom and fundamentalist ideology as the disease.

Terrorism is rooted with an ideology that sees itself in danger of extinction. Yesterday I mentioned the Boko Haram. It’s a militant Islamist group that basically sees western or non-Islamic education as evil. The followers of Boko Haram reject the notion the earth is a sphere. It stands to reason they feel they are being attacked by western science, because science has the innate ability to deal some serious damage to ignorance.

There are several parts of the world that are under “attack” from western science and culture. Baywatch was a popular show around the world and from some people’s perspective just flat-out anit-burqa. In truth, the views and ways of life all around the world are being challenged–but not intentionally challenged–by the west. Most people will speak up in defense when they feel their values are under attack and state the virtues behind their beliefs. Terrorist choose the violent path because they believe there is a sinister plot behind opposing views. They are the ones that see Baywatch as a western plot to destroy their culture. If you thought someone was plotting your demise, you might attack back too.

From the terrorist perspective–they feel that their way of life is under attack and those around them are slowly being corrupted–what should they do? Just follow the anarchy. Pull yourself out of the corrupt society and set up your own pure society. The regions with little or no government control are the best place for terrorists to set up shop. If everyone is armed with rifles to defend themselves, a terrorist won’t stand out. No government to monitor or crack down on their activities. From the protection zone of anarchy, you can start freeing the world from satanic plots. As long as there are regions of anarchy, terrorists will have safe bases of operation.

Dynamics of terrorism – how wars of terrorism are fought on both sides

Side A – declares war on side B but side A has little to no army.

Side B – is the opposing government or ideology of side A

Side A – can’t fight side B on an open battlefield because they would be wiped out and instead picks civilian targets to attack.

For terrorists, the justification for murdering civilians is that the values the terrorists are defending is more important than human life. If you are willing to die for these values then others should be just as willing to die, and if they aren’t willing to die for those values they weren’t a good person to begin with. For governments, the justification of stepping on civil rights is that all your civil rights are gone if a you are killed by a terrorist.

The side that does the most harm to civilians will probably lose hearts and minds. The harm isn’t measured only in causalities. When terrorists cause the public to be afraid of normal day to day activities, they become the bad guys. When governments crack down too hard, as in house-to-house searches, they become the bad guys.

The calculation often overlooked is how people view potential harm differently from real harm. You don’t normally sympathize with someone causing you real harm in order to prevent future harm.

Examples – The current group of terrorist argue their way of life is threatened by the opposing ideology or government. They are arguing that harm will come in the future whereas someone being killed by a bomb is a real and tangible harm. When the terrorists set off a bomb and people die, they represent the real harm.

The government argues for searching people and residences to protect the public from harm. If the government starts strip searches to prevent terrorist from blowing people up, it’s the potential threat of a bomb vs. the reality of having your privacy violated. When governments violate civil rights, they represent the real harm.

Blowback or unintentionally creating terrorists happens when in fighting terrorism the government does more harm to civilians than terrorists have done to civilians. Terrorist set off a bomb that kills 100 people–and while hunting down the terrorist, the government kills 500 people. The terrorists are still jerks; the problem is in doing even more harm, the government has legitimized the terrorists for attacking in the first place. From the uninvolved civilian perspective, the government is now the bad guys; their enemy appears to be the good guys, so where do I sign up?

I’m not empathizing with the terrorists groups, but I have to agree that western civilization is a powerful force and is corrupting civilizations around the world. I’m also very proud of “corrupting the world.” When I heard that Baywatch was a popular show in the Middle East, I felt a sense of American pride. Baywatch is no work of art in a literary sense, but its something to be proud of in that free people produce the things that people around the world want.

I too believe the world is slowly being conquered by western culture and technology. The culture of free societies will always dominate high-control societies for the simple fact we give people just want they want without any regulation. I watch news and documentaries from around the world and I see western clothing and technology everywhere. Hollywood and the media, through the use of technology, have become one of the most powerful forces on the planet.

So far the damage done to these fundamentalist groups ideology has been unintentional. The west has unintentionally created freedom junkies, because once you’ve had a taste of freedom you are hooked for life. I think its time to start intentionally damaging their culture with as much free and open access to information and entertainment as possible. The west is getting blamed for intentionally trying to corrupt other cultures,  so why not start actively pursing their “corruption?” It’s time for governments to team up with the tech industry and entertainment industry to plan a bombardment of portable media players and laptops and highspeed internet access to all the information and entertainment deprived areas of the world.

Baywatch ’em back from the Stone Age!

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Paris Hilton 2012

Donofrio v. Wells – Buried in the US Presidential 2008 elections, there was a case challenging the ballot process. The Supreme Court declined without comment to hear the Donofrio v. Wells case. The case (PDF) challenged Senator John McCain and then Senator Barrack Obama’s eligibility to hold the office, because there is no law that you have to prove US citizenship to get on the ballot. One of the candidates on the same ballot was Socialist Workers Party candidate, Roger Calero. Roger Calero has never hidden that he was born in Nicaragua.

The media did some reporting on the case but failed to mention Roger Calero was not a US citizen. Example – this Washing Post article mentions Roger Calero, but the article is focused on the politics that motivated the case and not the merits of the case.

Qualifications for President of the United Sates • 35 years old or older • Must be a natural-born U.S. citizen • Must have lived in the United States for fourteen years.

This case pointed out that anybody could get on the ballot. Here is Paris Hilton weighing in on politics during election. Paris Hilton isn’t old enough to run for President, but there is nothing to prevent Paris from getting on the ballot.


Worst case scenario would be after being elected President, it is discovered someone didn’t meet one of the three qualifications. If the President had signed bills into law would the laws be null and void? It would be utter chaos in the Congress; their fights would make South Korea brawls look like folk dances.


Picture John Boehner stabbing Nancy Pelosi with a US flag pole–that’s how bad it could get.

Some people say the qualifications are now irrelevant and useless so there is no point enforcing them. The people who wrote the US Constitution seem paranoid from our perspective two centuries later because they suffered from a host of abuses. Just because it seems paranoid now doesn’t mean its not a valid concern.

Picture 2012 rolling around and Paris Hilton runs on a 3rd party against Obama and Palin(all three are celebrities; it could happen). Hilton wins the “throw the bums out vote.” The Electoral College could refuse to vote in Paris Hilton, but I have to wonder if the members of congress would refute the will of the people and uphold the constitutional requirements.

Paris Hilton 2012 – isn’t that worth being paranoid about?

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The Christmas Spirit

Christmas time in politics. Listen to the harmonic sounds of demonizing the opposition. This just makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over.(sarcasm)

Oh Come All Ye Tea Baggers


The 12 Days Of Obama

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